Less than 10 days left of my degree
Yup. 3 years have gone. Starting to become so emotional and just overwhelmed by this whole experience. Coming to terms with the fact that I have almost achieved my dreams is unbelievable. But let's define dreams for a second because at this point in time many people think that their degree defines them. To an extent it can help shape who you are, for sure, definitely does not define you.
Yes, you might have a first class degree to your name, but what are you going to do with it?
Save lives? Change lives? Improve your own life? Are you making an impact? What are you doing with this knowledge that you now have, the skills, the experiences, how are you going to share them? Even if you leave here with a grade that you are disappointed in, what are you taking from your experience of simply just being here and trying your best? And if you did not try your best, why is that? All of these questions whirl around my head when I am trying to revise. Does not help that I study classics when I am here questioning my own existence, and my purpose in life. But, these questions are important to ask, so many of us get so obsessed with the reward and forget the journey (myself included). I am currently very close to achieving a first in my degree, and honestly, it would mean the whole world to me if I do get it. But I am also very aware that I might slip up in an exam or my dissertation will bring everything down, so I just do not know what the outcome will be. Regardless, I am taking the time to ensure that I am enjoying my revision and focusing on my mind. I can only do my best right? So that's exactly what I am trying to do, battling with the procrastination urges, the temptation to stay on my phone for hours on end, avoid from getting frustrated with my work but simply just chop all my notes into tiny bits so they are more manageable.
When I look back at my exam season, I know I have had fun, and that's all we ever want to do right? Enjoy ourselves and have fun? So why does it feel so bad doing so?!! I don't know, maybe because I have never been at this stage of fulfillment in a very long time. It's good. I've lost a lot of people in my life this year, but that's okay, they'll bounce back hopefully if not, that's okay too. Being stressed about friendships and relationships was stress I did not need this year, my only stress (I tried) was whether I was going to complete this year. And I'm almost there :) And hopefully so are you, congrats! YOU DID IT! And if you didn't congrats on realising that this isn't for you, and I hope you have found what you enjoy. That's what it's all about right?
See you all soon, if you see me around, make sure you say hi, because I'm leaving soon!